Max’s Laws of Saying Yes
Move over, Isaac Newton
In a few weeks, I’m heading to Colorado to train for an Ironman. I’ll be there from May through July.
After the Ironman, I’m going to Edinburgh, Scotland, to perform for a month at their Fringe festival with my friend Tess. It’s 25 consecutive days of performing with one day off.
A few days ago, my friend told me she was slightly worried that going from touring in March into Ironman training into Edinburgh would burn me out. Which is a valid point. But I don’t think it will for a very specific reason:
I’m saying yes to two big things, and I’m saying no to pretty much everything else. Which brings me to the first law of saying Yes:
Each “YES” requires an equal and opposite “NO.”
Let’s look deeper here:
Touring was a massive “yes.” I said yes to travel, to 23 shows, to having dinners with friends in every city, to communicating with each venue, to memorizing names in each show. But I said no to literally every other thing in my life. I didn’t see my friends unless they were located where I was performing. I didn’t do a single other gig. I didn’t write this Substack (everything that went out was scheduled). I didn’t bike or swim, opting to run in every city instead.
Let’s look at Ironman training. Obviously, an Ironman is a huge race. But while I train in Colorado, I’ll be saying no to:
Every show that isn’t in Denver or the surrounding area
My New York social life
Vacations
Magic being my first priority
Alcohol (not that that’s very hard for me. But I’ll still go sober)
Finally, in Edinburgh, here’s what I‘ll say yes to:
Doing the show
Networking and meeting people
Spending time with friends who are also there
Equally as important, here’s what I’ll say no to:
Literally every other gig
Training (thank god!)
Anything that would prevent me from being at my show at 7:40 PM
Let’s zoom out—if at the end of 2025, I can say: “I toured the country, I ran and Ironman, and I performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival,” then that would be a great year! And it’s what I’m on track for.
And just listing them, you realize that, as far as quantity goes, that’s not that many things. But they’re big things. Big enough that I will likely remember them for the rest of my life.
Living a fulfilling life requires these massive, tent-pole events. And massive events require sacrifice.
If I’m going to train for an Ironman, I can’t do it in Central Park. I have to be in Colorado. Likewise, if I’m going to tour, I can’t train for an Ironman. Doing something well requires devoting yourself fully, and actively pushing everything else away.
The sacrifice is scary. I’m nervous to miss people in New York and to say no to performing opportunities. But here’s the second law of saying Yes:
Big Yes’s create big memories, and asymmetrically impact your life.
In other words, not all memories are created equal. Backpacking for four months carries more weight than living my normal life for the same amount of time. That trip will always be an instrumental part of my life.
So, while big sacrifices are scary in the moment, they are precisely what makes you more interesting. You can’t accomplish anything great without sacrifice! Great work requires depth, which requires time and effort, which cannot be accomplished without saying no.
You can absolutely do a lot in your life. But you must prioritize correctly.
To recap, here are the two laws I try to live by:
Each YES requires an equal and opposite NO
Big YES‘S create big memories, and make you a better person
Therefore, say yes to as many amazing things as you can. Just remember to say no as well.