Bombs Away
The worst performance of my career
What happens when a trick doesn’t work? Allow me to walk you through what was, without question, the worst bomb of my career. The actual story is very short: I do a stunt where I memorize the names of everyone in the audience, and recite them back to each person. It’s not a trick—I do it for real. In this case, I tried to memorize 70 names, and I only managed 35, with at least 15 mistakes. As in—I got on stage, looked people in the eye, and either called them the wrong name, or completely forgot it. 15 excruciating times. It was embarrassing and most uncomfortable I've ever felt on stage. But I also learned a lot. Here’s what happened:
For the past year and a half, I’ve made name memory a staple of my show. I meet people before the show, memorize their names, and then recite them one by one at the beginning or end of the show.
I did this, business as usual, in March of 2024. Two men who produce a comedy show were in the audience, and wanted me to memorize names on their show. There were going to be 70 people, and I only had 30 minutes to memorize everyone.
I was pretty nervous going in. I’d never done that many names, period. And certainly not with that little time. But I accepted, thinking I could do it, and that it was better make the attempt than not even try.
When I got to the show, I immediately knew it would be chaos. Part of name memory is facial association—you look at what somebody is wearing and link that to their name to make a mnemonic. But a lot of it is spacial, too—you look at where they’re sitting and link their name to who they’re with. For example, if two people are sitting next to each other, and one is named Michael, and the other is named Jordan (which has happened to me before), you can then link them as one name (Michael Jordan). You wouldn’t be able to do that if they were sitting on opposite sides of the room. Unfortunately, on this particular night, everyone was milling around the room before the show, so it was impossible to do any spacial associations.
Here’s flaw number two: I memorized the wrong way. For months, I was really slowing myself down. I’d meet people, commit their names to short term memory, and then write them down in my notes app. So if I met Jessica, Brian, and Gerald, I’d repeat that quickly, write it down, and memorize it later. But that is an extremely flawed system! While it does work, delayed memorization is highly inefficient. It seems quicker, because you only have to memorize the names for long enough to write them down. But it’s actually very slow, because by the time you’ve written everyone down, you still haven’t memorized anyone, and then you have to memorize, like, 50 people at once.
In this particular scenario, I tried to memorize too many names too quickly without ever committing names to long term memory. So by the time I went on stage, I was extremely overwhelmed, and I missed a bunch of easy names that I would’ve gotten if I’d gone slower.
I’m a big fan of the phrase “go slow to go fast.” And that is the correct way to memorize names. You meet, say, three people. You commit them to memory without writing them down. And then you do not move onto the next group until you’ve memorized those names. Yes, it technically slows you down. But the quality of your memory is far better. I’ve since adopted this system, and while it’s scary not to write anything down, the lack of a safety net forces you to pay attention, and your success rate goes up, not down.
And let me be clear: It is significantly better to memorize 20 names correctly than try to do 40 names and get even 2 wrong. Mistakes when memorizing names are pretty much inexcusable because it’s such a personal error. It genuinely sucks if you’re the one person in the audience that the magician forgot. Therefore, the focus must be on getting them 100% correct.
This brings me to point number three—I was way too focused on getting all 70 people correct when in reality, that was entirely unnecessary! I could’ve gotten 35 correct and it would’ve been fantastic. It’s the fact that I got 35 correct and at least 15 wrong that was the issue. They saw an incomplete, incoherent performance, and that’s what tanked me.
But, I learned more from that experience than pretty much any success I’ve ever had. Here are some takeaways:
I never want to feel that way again. Because they had only brought me to memorize names, I didn’t get to do a magic trick. I literally walked on stage, forgot a bunch of names, and left. Nobody clapped (not that I deserved any applause). Nobody really knew what was going on. It was objectively a bad performance. Luckily, we are biologically programmed to learn from painful experiences. And I will never forget that feeling. Therefore, I will never even attempt reciting names if I think I’m going to miss that many. I’d rather cut my act short and throw away all the work I did than make people feel bad that I forgot their names.
I don’t have to memorize everybody. I just have to get the people that I do meet correct. Meaning: It’s ok to limit the people I meet and say “If I met you, please raise your hand.” And then just name those people.
Bombing is ok. There is no one gig that can tank your career. Yes, it felt horrible, but only 70 people saw me. It wasn’t televised. I don’t even think it was filmed. The performance is gone. However, while you should have a high tolerance for first mistakes, you must have a low tolerance for second mistakes. Learn, improve, and don’t let it happen again.
Own your mistakes. After the performance, I immediately went to the producers and apologized profusely. I made them and the show look bad, and I never want to do that again. But the worst thing I could’ve done is leave without saying goodbye or pretend that it went well. I think one of the reasons they’ve forgiven me and hired me again is that I was accountable for my actions. I took full responsibility (because it was entirely my fault), and that was all I could do.
So yes, I do mess up. I try to limit my mistakes, especially on stage. And luckily this hasn’t happened again. But sometimes, you just tank. Own it, learn from it, reminisce about it with friends. And then get back to work.