25 at 25

I turned 25 a few days ago, so I’m officially 1/5 of the way through my life (just trying to be optimistic). Here are 25 lessons for my 25th birthday (on October 25th, no less!):

1. Stop wishing you were somewhere else: I’ve caught myself doing this so many times—I‘m on the plane wishing I was on the ground, I’m in the terminal wishing I was in the Uber, I’m in the Uber wishing I was home. It’s pointless and I’ve tried to become more aware and focused in the moment. I am here. I am always here. That’s enough.

2. Pay attention to where your gigs come from: Most of my shows come via text. This means that they come from relationships. The negotiation is easy because it’s a friend or trusted colleague. This is why I went on all my lunches when I first moved to New York. This is why I make sure to wish people happy birthday. This is why I check in on people even when I don’t need something from them. Getting gigs gets exponentially easier the more relationships you have.

3. Less is more. Our best Stand-Up Magic shows are short and sweet (about 70 minutes). I’ve pretty much never seen or participated in a show that I thought should be longer. There truly is value in leaving them wanting more.

4. Word of mouth is king. Our show in Denver hasn’t changed much. It’s me, Scotty, and Tess. We’ve sold a lot of tickets without a lot of advertising because the show has been consistently good and it’s generated word of mouth. It’s simple but of course not easy. When you have something good, people talk about it. When you have something really good, they might even recommend it to their friends.

5. Word of mouth goes both directions, though. A few weeks ago, I heard a rumor that had made its way to Chicago that clearly originated at Stand-Up Magic. You get to choose, for the most part, what your reputation is. Don’t let it be shit talking.

6. Exercise or die. I basically took the entire summer off exercising because I got a stress fracture. That was a lazy approach, because there‘s lots of other things I could’ve done (biking, swimming, lifting). Now that I’m back, I feel so much better. This is no surprise, but it was a good reminder that no matter what happens in the future, I will make sure to move my body.

7. Complaining about your age is one of the dumbest things we do as humans. It would be easier to start a beach resort in Antarctica than change how old you are. You’re either celebrating your birthday or you’re dead. I’ll choose the former any day. Your birthday is a wonderful, annual reminder to take stock of your life and your priorities. If you don’t like your life at the moment—fine. Progress isn’t linear. You can make changes. Few things are truly permanent.

8. The best productivity app is called putting your phone on airplane mode.

9. Don’t be rigid: I used to only use headset microphones. Then we started doing Stand-Up Magic, and I fell in love with the handheld. I vowed to only use handhelds because I liked the aesthetic. After about a year of that, I realized how much more versatile I could be with a headset. I gained a valuable skill this year—I can perform for an hour with a handheld mic. That came in really handy a few weeks ago when my headset broke 30 minutes before my show and I had to use a handheld. But now I know I have a better product with a headset, and I’m changing back. When you get new information, act on it. Remaining rigid in the face of new information is the foolish move, not the other way around.

10. I have yet to meet someone who regretted writing a thank-you note.

11. Similarly, I haven’t met someone who regretted taking time to learn a skill. I’ve met a lot of people who feel the opposite, though (myself included).

12. Drink less alcohol: I used to pretend I liked to drink when someone would ask. But a big change this year is that I’m now comfortable telling a complete stranger that I don’t like to drink without fear of being judged. I know what I like to do—such as wake up early and exercise. So I don’t like to drink. I’m not sober, and I won’t judge you for drinking. But I’m more comfortable in my own skin, making the choice I want to make.

13. You can figure it out later: I’m always torn about whether to admire Steve Jobs. He was an asshole. He was also a visionary. One trait he did have that I would like to emulate without being an asshole is knowing that you can usually figure out how to do something if you have enough conviction. I booked a national tour in two weeks because I knew I had to. When you have a deadline and a purpose, you can usually figure it out. Pressure makes diamonds. So when people say they’re stuck—at a job or in an apartment or whatever—it’s temporary. It may not be easy, but it is solvable. If we could put a man on the moon with a computer with less capacity than the game Angry Birds, you can probably figure out your project too.

14. “You’re smarter than that” are the four words you need to win any argument. You put the other person in a position where they must admit that they are wrong or stupid. Guess which one they’ll choose. (I think I have uncovered a gold-mind with this statement because you win an argument by acknowledging the other person’s intelligence rather than putting them down. You use their momentum against them. This is a nerdy debate-kid point, but I do find it funny and mostly true. At the very least, you will slow down the argument because the other person will think “huh. I am smarter than that!”)

15. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. It’s a rowing maxim, but I’ve found myself saying it a lot lately. Want to recover from an Achilles injury? Go slow. Want to memorize a lot of names? Go slow. Do a few things very well instead of a bunch of things average.

16. Always travel with a steamer. Thanks Tess.

17. Maggie Rogers’ first New York concert was in 2012. The first time she broke even? 2017. How did I learn this interesting fact? She told us on stage at Madison Square Garden, the first of two sold-out performances. Would you believe that someone talented enough to sell out the world’s most famous arena *twice* could take FIVE YEARS just to break even? If it takes that long for her, give yourself permission for success to be slow.

18. So much of happiness is just having something to look forward to. Whenever I talk to someone who isn’t doing very well, they usually don’t have much on the horizon. This is part of why running is so valuable. Yes, the task itself is gratifying. But the training gives you something tangible to look forward to for months. I have never met someone who regretted training for a race or putting on a magic show. The truth is that so many regrets come from not taking action, not the other way around. But the point is to schedule activities, goals, and things you might not even achieve. The chase is half the fun.

19. My formula for making a living in magic with zero advertising is this: Be nice to people and do a good job. It seems to be working.

20. Here’s another Maggie Rogers thought—while on stage at MSG, she said “in college [at NYU], my band and I decided that if we wrote 1-2 songs/month and practiced 3 days/week, we’d already be better than half the bands in the city.” I love that. It’s the steady drip-drip-drip of hard work that eventually fills a lake. I thought about that this morning when I went about my routine—sitting at my computer with a Google Doc writing a new magic trick. It might not seem like a lot today, but the cumulative effect of doing a few things right over and over is pretty extraordinary.

21. Always have backup props in your magic case because you never know when you’ll have a blackout-drunk participant on stage who will accidentally break your props mid-show. Hypothetically though.

22. People are always like “25!? 30!? 40!? 50!?!? When did I get so old?” And it’s a weird question because of course there’s never one time. But then, at some point you look back and boom, you’re older. So what’s the inflection point? I can only conclude that you get “so old” when you decide you do. I think that feeling is much more of a reflection of how full your life is…you can be young with a full life, you can be old with an empty life. Age is, of course, a number, but it’s also a mindset.

23. Stop getting jealous: There will always, always be somebody better than you. Likely a lot of people! If you see someone accomplishing someone you also want to accomplish, consider the road just that much more paved, congratulate them, and move on.

24. I’m usually wrong. I’m wrong so often. Might as well accept it and enjoy the ride.

25. You can’t hang out with your friends or family too much. Your life is defined by the people who fill it. These are the good old days. Enjoy them.

—Max